Not everyone got into The Darjeeling Limited, or at least not all in the same way. In Tamara, for example, the film produced a string of questions to her friend Jamie - questions which, when reproduced for my benefit and taken out of context, struck me as notably existential and oddly apposite (apposite to what, exactly? It doesn't matter)...so much so that I decided to write a mini-play taking said questions as my jumping-off point - and so here we are. Not the most substantial thing I've ever written (it was pretty much all done over the long weekend, while watching the cricket and listening to triple j's hottest 100), but it did come out pretty close to how it initially looked in my head - a rarity.
(Apart from Darjeeling itself, traces of Closer, Juno and Mrs Dalloway may also be apparent, depending on how you look.)
(a play in five short scenes)
* * *
SCENE ONE
“Jamie, I don’t get it”
Two rooms, roughly equal in size, separated by a wall. Sonic Youth’s “Superstar” plays softly in the background.
One room is completely dark. JOCELYN, a young woman, sits in the other, holding a telephone to her ear. She curls her hair distractedly between her fingers as she speaks. If you look closely, it seems possible that she’s just been crying.
JOCELYN: Jamie, I don’t get it. It all seemed to be going so well.
(Pause.)
JOCELYN: It’s been almost a week now.
(A longer pause.)
JOCELYN: No, that’s not how it happened at all. Esther told me all about it. You see, they met at a party...
(Lights come on in the other room as those illuminating JOCELYN dim to darkness. Judging by the shadows flickering on the back wall and by the noise, the room must be full. ANTHONY and ESTHER stand about a metre apart, not quite looking at each other.)
ANTHONY: Nice, isn’t it?
ESTHER: They’ve used the space well.
ANTHONY: It’s never looked better.
(ESTHER looks over at a grandfather clock standing in the corner of the room, and ANTHONY steals a glance at her while she is distracted. He begins to speak, stops, starts again.)
ANTHONY: So, how long has it been? Three years? Four?
ESTHER: (Ambiguously) Yes.
(Pause.)
ESTHER: Well, we’re here now.
ANTHONY: (Uncertainly) Yes.
(Another pause, then they both make as if to speak at once. Their eyes meet.)
ESTHER: (Diffidently, but smiling now, and speaking all in a rush) Shall we?
ANTHONY: (After half a beat) I thought you’d never ask.
Blackout
* * *
“Why are they going there, then?”
An aquarium.
Brightly coloured tropical fish dart inside a large glass tank. Light streams in from overhead. ESTHER and ANTHONY, holding hands, are watching the fish from the other side of the tank.
ANTHONY: They make nice patterns when they move, don’t they?
ESTHER: Yes, if you watch them for long enough.
ANTHONY: Like clouds.
ESTHER: Or waves, in the ocean.
ANTHONY: Though these wouldn’t last five minutes in the ocean.
ESTHER: Well, like you said before, everything has its place.
(Pause.)
ESTHER: Do you think — do you think that they’re aware of us?
ANTHONY: It probably wouldn’t make any difference to them even if they were.
ESTHER: (Practically) Well, they might never have ended up here.
(They both watch the fish for a while, peaceably. ANTHONY taps on the tank and tries to catch the fishes’ attention, with no discernible success.)
ESTHER: (Gesturing) You know, I read somewhere that it’s bad for fish to be directly in the sun like that, even under water.
ANTHONY: Why are they going there, then? There’s plenty of shelter.
ESTHER: I suppose they just don’t know any better.
Blackout
* * *
“And what did he do with those feathers?”
A hotel room.
ANTHONY finishes fixing ESTHER a drink and then walks over to join her on the sofa.
ESTHER: (Laughing) And what did he do with those feathers?
ANTHONY: No one knows. That was the last we ever saw of him.
ESTHER: I’m sorry I ever asked! Poor Andy. Still, I’m sure he’s happy, wherever he is.
(A companionable silence.)
ANTHONY: (With an air of summing up) Well, that wasn’t so bad.
ESTHER: It was alright.
ANTHONY: Are you okay?
ESTHER: I’m fine.
(Pause.)
ESTHER: I felt a bit disoriented at the start, though — when everyone was standing around in the lobby and waiting for something to happen.
ANTHONY: (Nodding) Still, your family certainly saw the old man off in style. He would’ve liked it.
ESTHER: (Non-committally) Yeah...
(ESTHER fiddles with a ribbon (black) on her dress (likewise), glances at her watch and then at ANTHONY, and then stands up. Wordlessly, they walk towards the door together.)
ESTHER: (Turning to ANTHONY with a sudden smile, just as they are going through the door) So you really don’t know what happened to the feathers? Well, you know what? I don’t believe you for a second.
Exeunt
* * *
“And where’s Natalie Portman gone?”
A busy city street.
ESTHER is standing on her tiptoes, peering ahead, while ANTHONY looks around with a slight air of impatience.
ESTHER: It’s no good. I can’t see a thing over all these people.
ANTHONY: I guess we’re not going anywhere for the moment, then.
ESTHER: No. The street’s completely closed and no one’s moving at all. All this fuss for some movie star.
ANTHONY: Is she even there?
ESTHER: She must be. They said they were going to be shooting all afternoon.
(A bird flaps by overhead.)
ANTHONY: Pooh, how boring.
ESTHER: (Archly, but with a hint of irritation) Remind me again whose idea it was to come and try to get a glimpse of her, then?
ANTHONY: Oh, whatever. Don’t take it out on me that we can’t get through to —
(He breaks off at the sound of a crash and a car going by. The unseen crowd murmurs.)
ANTHONY: What happened? And where’s Natalie Portman gone? That must’ve been her — all those people in front wouldn’t be so excited otherwise.
ESTHER: I don’t know. I wasn’t looking. Do you think it was anything important?
ANTHONY: (Shrugging) Who knows? Well, at least the press is clearing. Come on, let’s go.
Exeunt
* * *
“And why don’t they like each other again?”
An expensive restaurant, night-time.
ESTHER and ANTHONY are sitting across from each other, empty plates, wine glasses and cutlery on the table in front of them.
ANTHONY: (Musingly) Did you see that coming?
ESTHER: No, I never would have imagined.
ANTHONY: And why don’t they like each other again?
ESTHER: Your guess is as good as mine.
ANTHONY: You think you know someone, and then...
(Pause. The lights around them gradually begin dimming.)
ESTHER: (Softly) Anthony?
ANTHONY: Yes?
ESTHER: I was going to say that that couldn’t ever happen to us.
(ANTHONY’s expression is unreadable; ESTHER’s is wondering. By now, only their faces are visible in the failing light.)
ESTHER: (Continuing) But I guess you never can tell.
Blackout
